


Delusional Pricks

by Janecrocker



Category: Homestuck
Genre: ADORABLE LESBIANS, Chubby John, F/F, Homosexuals, M/M, POV Alternating, POV Third Person, blinding attractiveness, dead bro, im not sorry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-06-14
Updated: 2013-06-14
Packaged: 2017-12-14 23:16:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/842540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Janecrocker/pseuds/Janecrocker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dave moves into town and runs into Rose, and she introduces him to her friends. Jade accepts him immediately but John has trouble trusting him. Dave finds that he really wants John to be friends with him, though he can't place why. Dave's attractiveness makes John uncomfortable and shy. <br/>I suck at summaries. <br/>The back story with be told in later chapters.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Delusional Pricks

“John, Jade, this is Dave.” Rose introduced a young blonde guy who was at least a head taller than her. He had a nice strong jaw and pale skin. But he covered his eyes with aviator shades.

“Maybe he has sensitive eyes.” John thought.

He had broad shoulders and a clearly muscular body. A tattoo was on the inside of his right wrist, but John couldn’t see it well enough to make out what it was.

Jade did what she usually did and jumped up to greet him. Many people thought she would be rude and just hug anyone who came up to her. This, however, was false. She was very conscious of other people’s boundaries and personal space. She asked, “Can I hug you?” the guy, Dave, smiled a little and nodded.

She practically jumped for joy and threw her arms around his neck. After a second she pulled away with wide eyes.

John was confused, had Dave whispered something to her? He was very protective of his friends so he hoped Dave hadn’t made her uncomfortable. He watched the whole scene unravel before him with suspicion.

Dave’s shirt had rode up a bit, showing off another tattoo on his right hip. It was relatively simple and small; it was two triangles that looked like a pair of cheesy anime sunglasses.

But Jade wasn’t paying attention to that; she was too busy fretting over his build.

“Wow you look really good, Dave!” she grabbed his arms and squeezed the muscles.

He finally spoke, “Oh no, Jade. I hope you aren’t coming onto me. I don’t know if I'm ready for a relationship with you; we just met.”

“No offense, Dave, but ew. I'm dating Rose!” Rose giggled a little. “I was going to ask you for some tips!” Jade lifted her own shirt a little, showing off her own abs, which were impressive, to be honest.

“Damn girl.” Dave hummed his approval, and then turned to Rose, “Better put leash on this one.”

Rose laughed but otherwise ignored that. “John, do you want to introduce yourself?”

John looked back up at his friends and this new Dave guy; he had retreated back to his math homework when he was sure Dave wasn’t making any moves on the girls. “Uh, hi? I’m John Egbert.” He said.

“Dave Strider.” He replied. He held out his hand.

John stared at it for a second before hesitantly placing his own in it, shaking it. Dave’s grip was firm but gentle.

Then Dave joked, “Are you going to hit on me too? Or can I assume I'm safe for now?”

Jade scoffed, lightly hitting his arm. Dave feigned pain, grabbing his arm and pouting.

John glared at him; he didn’t like this Dave guy. Not that he had great reasons but he usually didn’t like really attractive people because they knew they were attractive, which usually made them assholes. He also didn’t like the fact that Dave had already assumed both Jade and John were interested in him.

But really that was just him making excuses to ignore Dave. If he was honest with himself, he would admit that he was attracted to Dave and that made him nervous. He was nervous he’d say or do something to embarrass himself.

John gathered his books and shoved them into his backpack. “I gotta go. Dad wants me home early so I can babysit Jake while he has a guy’s night out.” He said to the girls. Which was technically the truth, but also not; he didn’t have to be home for another hour.

~~

John intrigued Dave. Not only was John attractive, but he was smart, if the math homework he had been working on said anything. John’s dark skin looked really good with his blue eyes and dark hair.  

The problem was John seemed to really dislike him for some reason.

Dave found himself hanging out with the girls almost every day, and that occasionally included John when he couldn’t find a good excuse to leave.

A few weeks after he met them he saw Rose, Jade, and John at a diner about a block from his apartment. John was smiling and laughing with the girls, animatedly talking about (from what Dave could tell) a movie, and that made Dave smile.

He watched the boy talk for another minute before he decided to go join them. He made his way toward them and was still a good distance away when John spotted him. He immediately snapped his mouth shut. Dave was about to wave when John dropped his eyes to the glass in front of him.

Dave was disappointed, he really wanted to be friends with John but the boy didn’t seem to want anything to do with him.

The girls noticed John’s sudden silence and turned to see what caused it. Jade spotted Dave first.

“Dave!” she exclaimed.

He smiled, “Hey Harley. You aren’t giving John a hard time are you? He seems down.” He pretended not to know that John was upset because of him. He saw the open chair that was between Jade and John and took it. The waitress came over and asked him what he wanted, and he settled for sweet tea.

Jade jokingly glared at the blonde boy, “Of course not!”

Dave chuckled and turned to John, “I’ll protect your honor.”

That actually got a small giggled out of John and Dave found that he was incredible proud he had accomplished such a feat.

The waitress came back with his order and made sure he didn’t want anything else (he didn’t), this somehow caused a heated discussion with Jade about dieting and exercising. In the middle of one of his spiels he looked over and saw John staring at his right wrist.

John noticed Dave looking at him and he quickly looked back at his cup. “Sorry.” He mumbled.

Dave smiled at John’s sudden interest in him. “Nah dude, it’s cool.” Dave showed wrist to John so the boy could have a better look.

It was a music note with wings. John looked curiously up at him.

“I play a few instruments, and so did my father.” Dave explained, “It was like a family activity. Some families have game night, others have a family sport or church, but we had music together in our free time. It was great; paradise even.”

A silence followed his words. The past reference to his father left everybody wanting to ask but knowing the answer.

Jade was the first to speak up, “Is he…” so she was going to be the brave one to ask.

“Yeah, he passed away a year ago. The anniversary of his death was two months ago.” He stood up. “That’s what this is.” He pulled his shirt up just a little, revealing the tattoo John had already seen. “He always wore shades like these, kind of like I always wear these.” He dropped his shirt and gestured the aviators resting on his nose. He sat back down, taking a sip of his nearly empty glass.

“I’m sorry.” John muttered.

“I actually like talking about him. So it’s really fine.” Dave gave John a smile that would knock the socks off any person who was attracted to men. It was kind and gentle. He was trying to get John to come out of his shell or like him or whatever it took to make him smile and laugh when he came around.

John gave a shy, hesitant smile in return.

Suddenly (omg plot convenience) Rose’s phone rang. She answered it immediately, “Hello? Yes, mother.” She rolled her eyes. “I understand. Okay. Goodbye.”

She turned to Jade. “Mother is going to be out of the house for a few days, and since it’s the weekend, do you want to come over?”

Jade perked up in excitement, “Yes! Let’s go now!” 

“It would be rude to leave these two alone…” but it was obvious she wanted to go so John interjected.

“It’s fine! Go ahead, go make out or something.” He laughed.

Dave nodded in agreement.

After arguing about it some more the boys finally forced the girls to go on their merry way.

That, consequently, left two awkward boys alone.

So, uh…” John tried to start a conversation but was coming up blank. He said the first thing that popped up in his head, “So do you live nearby?”

“Yeah, I had just gotten off work before accidentally meeting up with you guys. I was heading back to my apartment.” Dave rubbed his arm nervously.

“Cool.” John said, looking anywhere but at Dave.

“Look,” Dave began, “If I did something to upset you please just tell me. I’d hate to have you dislike me for whatever reason.”

John looked up in surprise, resisting the urge to cover is eyes so he wouldn’t have to look at him. “No, it’s not that…” he trailed off then started up again, “I just don’t know you, ok?”

Dave was starting to get irritated, “Well you’ve had over a month to get to know me, but you just avoid me.” As soon as the words were out, he regretted them.

John looked both taken aback and angry at the same time. “Well sorry. I just didn’t trust you.” He said truthfully. “I didn’t know if you were going to try to hit on the girls and I didn’t want to have to get my ass kicked by you when I tried to stop you.” That and you're ridiculously attractive and I sort of just want to kiss you every time you come around, he added mentally.

Dave almost laughed. “That will never happen. First of all they’re the cutest couple I’ve ever seen. Second, women don’t really do much for me. I’m sure you can understand my predicament.” About a week or so before Jade had let it slip that John had been whining about some boy he had a crush on but wouldn’t tell her who it was. When he asked if him liking boys as a normal thing or if it was a new development, Rose had tried to stop Jade from answering, “He’s been gay for as long as I can remember!”

John turned red, “They told you.” It wasn’t a question.

Dave answered anyway, “I guess Jade thinks I'm one of the girls too.” He snickered, “but between you and me, I'm about as straight as a silly straw.”

John’s eyes widened then narrowed, “You're lying.”

Dave put a hand over his heart with an eyebrow raised, “I swear on the male model posters in my room.”

“You're still lying.” John went to grab his stuff.

Dave was desperate; he needed John to accept him. “Wait.” John paused, so he pulled out his phone and showed John his background, a half-naked man whose face was cut out of the shot. John still looked skeptical.

“Come one, John. What do I have to do to convince you I’m just looking for friends? Kiss you?”

John thought that sounded like an excellent idea. “What do you want from me?”

“I want to be your friend.”

“What if I refuse?”

“Then I’ll just have to keep trying.”

John considered this. It couldn’t hurt to give the guy a chance. So he nodded, snatched the other boy’s phone and put his number in his address book. “I better not regret this.” Then he stood and grabbed his wallet and keys from the table.

“You won’t!” Dave said to the brunettes retreating form.

“Maybe I settled for friendship too soon.” He muttered to himself when he noticed how John’s ass looked great with the fabric of his jeans stretched over it. “Damn it.”


End file.
